


That Man Has Secrets, Charlie's Sure Of It

by I_Am_Not_A_Robot



Category: The Music Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Charlie Has Had Enough, Cornets, F/M, Harold's probably a bard, He's not actually a human, He's three whole notes stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat and a half rest for a hat, Hypnotism, Marcellus loves Ethel, Morally Grey Harold Hill, Music, One-Sided Attraction, Secrets, Spying, Suspicious Behavior TM, The pick-a-little ladies are suspicious too, There are more relationships but none of them actually mean anything in the plot, lots of magic, what's in that suitcase Harold?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 16:46:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Am_Not_A_Robot/pseuds/I_Am_Not_A_Robot
Summary: There's something odd about Harold Hill. Something weird. Something different. And it's not just that he's a selfish thief and liar. Charlie Cowell is determined to prove it, because if he doesn't, nobody will ever realize what's wrong. All he's gotta do is catch up to Harold.Unfortunately for Charlie, he'll have to team up with the town's most gossipy group of women to do so.There's something dangerous about Charlie Cowell. He's bold, he's ambitious, and once he sets his mind on something, he gets it done. And for the first time in Harold Hill's life, he might just be in danger of getting found out- not only that he's a lying conman, but the other secret, the one he's been hiding through all of his centuries long life.Fortunately for Harold, River City's on his side.





	That Man Has Secrets, Charlie's Sure Of It

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sorry how similar this chapter is to the opening scenes. I promise you, the dialogue will diverge from canon soon enough!

Harold Hill was a salesman, alright. He traded in lies and songs, in voices and emotions, in hopes and souls and sometimes cornets. 

One early July day of 1912 found the man boarding a train heading for River City, Iowa, with only the clothes on his back, the hat on his head, and the leather suitcase hanging by his side. While on board, he heard the gossip about no other person but him, to no one's surprise at all. After all, he was sort of famous in the salesman world.

How many others have gotten away with the swindles he did? How many caused such trouble for the other salesman, who unlike him had honest intentions and honest trades? Nobody, really. And that's why Charlie Cowell complained loudly to the other salesman on the train car. 

"Ever meet a man by the name of Hill?"

A few men murmured some 'no's and shook their heads. 

"If you're getting so worked about him, could ya at least tell us what he sells?"

"'Sells', my ass. He's a fake, I tell you! Ruining the name of every honest salesman out there. Calls himself a 'music teacher', but in order to do that, he's gotta guarantee to teach the kids to play, and provide instruments. He couldn't play a clarinet to save his life!"

"You've met him?"

"Not yet I haven't. Even still, he's ruined an entire city for me, and I won't let him ruin Iowa too! As soon as I catch up with him, I'm gonna make sure he never gets the chance to make my life hell. It's bad for every man like us out there. His swindles are so bad, the next salesman trying to do honest work isn't able to sell anything, because none of them will trust any salesman ever again! He's making our jobs harder than they already are!" 

Harold smiled behind his newspaper. There was no reason to keep it over his face like he did, since he suspected that nobody on this train actually knew what he looked like, but there was something sort of fun about pretending that he had to keep his presence secret. 

A loud whistle from the train interrupted the many conversations the salesmen had started, and a voice on the intercom exclaimed, "River City, River City Iowa, population 2,212!"

One of the salesman stood up to leave, but another quickly pulled him down. "You won't get anywhere with this stubborn city. It's no use trying- they won't buy a thing that any of us try to sell." 

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely. If you wanna make money, get off at a different station; you'll have a better chance in Illinois. That's where I'm headin', y'know."

Standing up, Harold finally lowered the newspaper that he'd only been half-reading, and turned to Charlie Cowell. Looking him in the eye, he said, "Well, Iowa sounds intriguing. I think I'll have to give it a try."

Charlie eyed him suspiciously. Something about this stranger was perturbing. "I don't think I caught your name?"

Smiling, Harold replied, "I don't think I dropped it." As he got off the cart, a tag on his suitcase reading "Prof. Harold Hill" turned over in an all too convenient breeze. Charlie's eyes widened. 

"Wait-!" he started, ready to give Harold Hill what he'd had coming for a long time, but the mysterious man was already gone. "Damn it!" 

Out in the sweltering July heat, Harold Hill walked from the station with a bounce in his step. Already he could tell this place wouldn't be too hard to get money from. Whatever those other salesmen were saying about Iowa had to be just exaggerations. 

The people certainly didn't look all that different from the people in other places. They just held their chins a little higher, but that was no hurdle for the great 'Professor' Harold Hill. He'd already planned his lies and had the whole thing laid out. First, distract all the music teachers, because they were the ones who were most able to see through his lies. Then, start some trouble, and save River City from this trouble with the help of a boy's band.

Getting the parents to sign the contract after that will be a breeze. After selling the band instruments and cost of joining the band for more than it's actually worth, he'd leave the town as quickly as he'd come, and that would be the last River City would ever see of him, because he'd already be on a train heading for the next city over. 

As he walked the streets, getting familiar with the city, he spotted a familiar friend.

"No, I love you more! No, I do! I'll see you later- no, you're the best person in the world! No, you!" 

Marcellus literally walked backwards directly into Harold, waving at some plump girl across the street. He turned around to see who he ran into, and his eyes lit up when he saw the salesman standing in front of him. "Greg! What are you doing here?"

"Hey, shhh! As far as anyone knows, my name is Professor Harold Hill. As for what I'm doing here, you should already know. I'm a salesman, after all. Who were you talking with?"

"That was Ethel Toffelmier. I'm gonna marry her someday, I think." A faraway look fogged his eyes as a dreamy smile spread on his face. He snapped out of it quickly, turning his focus back to the music man in front of him. "So, 'professor'? Tell me you're not back in the band business, are ya?"

Harold nodded, and Marcellus grinned. "You and I were pretty good at that back in the day, remember? You gotta be careful, though, there's a music teacher in this town."

"Nothing I can't deal with. Male or female?"

"The music teacher? She's the librarian; a real sweet girl. Anyway, how're ya gonna start the pitch?"

"Same old way. Distract the music teacher, and then get River City out of the serious trouble that it's in."

"But... River City isn't in any trouble."

"I'll have to create some. What's new around here?"

Marcellus thought for a moment. "There isn't really anything... wait, there's a video game store being built."

"River City's never had a video game store?" Is that really the ONLY new thing? 

"Nope. The closest they got is a few tech stores. Apple's dominated this town, but there's a few more."

Harold could easily envision exactly what to do. "Great! That'll do." He stepped away from Marcellus, and opened his suitcase, careful to not let anyone see the contents. There were things in there that nobody could possibly see, including his best friend.

He took out a bottle made of dark glass to hide the liquid inside, and took a small sip. It tasted like peppermint, vanilla, and honeycomb. He immediately felt the strength and magic flood from his tongue all the way down to his toes.

"Isn't it a bit early in the morning to be drinking, Gr- Harold?" Marcellus looked at him with a doubtful gaze. 

Chuckling, Harold quickly told him, "It's not alcohol, I promise." No, it was something much better, much rarer, and much more morally bad to be drinking at any time of the day, or even at all. 

Stepping away from Marcellus, he said loudly, "Either you're closing your eyes to a situation you don't wish to acknowledge, or you're not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of an video game store in your community!"

Marcellus caught on in the wink of a eye. "Really? What do you mean by that?"

And Harold began his usual performance.

The citizens of River City that happened to be passing by couldn't help but stand and watch as the man hopped onto a fountain in the town square and continued his half-exaggerating, half-speaking sort of performance. "...Before you know it, every single teenager in this town will be brain dead from sitting on their couches and playing video games all day! They'll be hanging out, and soon it won't be to just play video games!"

Who could argue with that logic?


End file.
